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It was my birthday in November, and I did a year-long reading from my beautiful Animal Spirit Guidebook by Kim Krans to celebrate the journey. I drew a card for each month from the deck and then sketched them in my bullet journal so that I could look up each month again as I got there. As the month arrives I write little notes about what I need to pay attention to, or how the card relates to what’s happening to me at that moment in time. But my life, like many of yours, consists of so many things, that often I find myself stumbling across the page and realizing I hadn’t yet looked at that month’s spirit animal.
While going through my bullet journal today, I saw that I hadn’t re-explored March yet, so I made a cup of tea and grabbed the cards. March’s card was the Vulture. According to the book, it is the guardian and purifier, and essential for rebalance. At first I commented to my husband how ironic it was that the vulture was this month’s card with everything going on in the world with Covid19 and all. “This intriguing bird balances our ecosystem and prevents the spread of disease.” And appears when “there’s a situation that needs to be purified or brought back into balance.” And I thought of the whole world needing to be back in balance, and how we are creating so much damage to our planet through our excessive behaviours and things. But then I realized that my card reading was not a reading for the world, it was a reading for me.
And I thought about the last few weeks. I have not been able to take portraits. Businesses are closed, so no one needs a new headshot. All of my preschools are closed. All of those tasks I am usually doing to prepare for them are waiting for things to get back to normal. (Which they will. Of that I am certain). So in the meantime, I’ve been spending my days creating. Yes, there has been some working out, some walking along the beach, some beach cleanups, a bit of reading, some cleaning and sorting, preparing for my upcoming shows, but mostly, it’s been creating. I’ve made a couple of journals. I’ve done some embroidery. A little painting. Written down words that have appeared in my head. A bit of wood burning. Taken some photos. Added to my bullet journal. And oh my gosh am I happy. There is peace in my soul. I feel as if I can breathe… It was my life that need to be brought back to rebalance. I am my best when I am creating. I am my truest self. Even if my art, (or my bullet journal – haha), is not spectacular, I am not creating for anyone else. I am creating because I need to, to live a happy life.
An aside, as I went to go get the vulture card to take the photo, it was on the top of the deck. The very first card. Honestly. Like it knew I was needing it. (haha, I don’t really mean that last line, Well… I mean, maybe just the teensiest bit, perhaps?) *Edited to add: And then, I swear on a healthy planet, after I finished writing this post, I was putting the cards away and thought, guess I should really do a reading today before I put them away as they’re out. So I shuffled the deck the way I always do. Pretty thoroughly. Separated the deck into three stacks, again, as always. Put the stacks back together randomly, no change. And the top card. Of course it was the vulture. Like he was saying, what else do you actually need today? Haven’t I given you enough? Lol. Frickin’ vulture. Now I’m a teeny bit freaked out. Okay, okay, I’ll stop waffling and get back to creating…
(my card for the entire year was Hyena, which kind of ticked me off, lol, because what kind of card is that to have hanging about for a whole year… but geesh, it turned out it was really a perfect card for me. That might be another post, but suffice it to say, the line at the bottom of the page “What would happen if you took your goals seriously?” is a direct quote from the hyena. So yeah, it’s quite appropriate. And if nothing else, I see it every time I come across the page. Reminding me of the possibilities there could be…).
Stay safe. Stay healthy. And please share how you’re using this time to get your life back into rebalance.
xo
